Photo Property of Paper Moon Vinyards via Facebook

Type: Wine – Lake Erie Cayuga White
Name: Paper Moon – Cayuga White
Price: Free for me, but for you?
Made: Vermillion, OH
Alc/Vol: 11%

I must seem to luck out on local wines because like Matus Winery – American Concord review I did, this lovely bottle came free of charge as well. How did I manage free wine you ask, well just get really upset when someone disposes of the wine  you had. A few weeks back I helped work at a local festival in my hometown of Lorain. After cleanup there were a few bottles of wine left over, I was ready to enjoy these delicious wines when I left them at the festival site. (I know, cardinal sin-esque) I rushed back the next morning only to find they had been pitched, to prevent the high school clean up crew from having at the bottle. I still fail to see why the bottle was punished for this. this left me devastated, truly, alcohol abuse in it’s worse offense. My mother shared my despair at a similar festival with the vineyards, thus the thought of a cute and cuddly little monkey without his wine tore into their hearts. They left a bottle for me, who needs puppy eyes when you have monkey everything?

Type: Beer – Rice Lager
Name: Kirin Ichiban
Price: $3.29
Made: California?
Alc/Vol: 5%
“With his gold label and Special Premium Reserve appellation, Ichiban outclasses and outperforms.

In 1990, Ichiban’s debut made a splash in the world of super premium beers. The luxurious single wort (or first press) process yields a unique, complex flavor. With his gold label and “Special Premium Reserve” appellation, Ichiban outclasses and outperforms. But don’t be fooled by a snooty attitude — this is a great beer that goes with anything.

What makes Ichiban great

Prominent wort. Finest barley malt, premium hops, smooth finish, no bitter aftertaste.”

Type: Beer – Double IPA
Name: Victory Brewing Company – Hop Wallop
Price: $2.09
Made: Downington, Pennsylvania
Alc/Vol: 8.5%

The Legend of ‘Hop’ Wallop

“So Horace ‘Hop’ Wallop headed west a broken man. For in the city of Blues a Miss LuLu Bell Lager had left him thirty for more. Drawn by wild tales of riches to be had in the gold mines, Hop pressed on westward. His last nickle spent on a prospecting pan Hop’s hunger got the best of him. Two fist fulls of barely and three of some wild and Wayward hops tossed in a pan with some clear water was to be his meal but sleep overcame him and he later awoke to a bubbling cacophonous concoction overjoyed with the beautiful ale he had made, Hop realized the secret of the green gold he had discovered in those fresh hops. Celebrated far and wide Hop Wallop lives on this vivid ale with his words, ‘Hoppyness is Happiness’. Enjoy!”

Type: Beer – Belgian Dark Ale
Name: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
Price: $1.99
Made: Birzai Region Lithuania
Alc/Vol: 8.2%

This big bottle o’ beer knew how to get a drunken monkey’s attention – a big red tag that says, ‘Hey look at me I’m full of alcohol, good and strong not like that sissy crap that might as well be a Zima.’  OK so it actually just says 8.2% alc/vol however on the bottle it does say, “You must be sure you want to taste it.” Which I like because if the she-wolf wasn’t sassy enough that statement makes sure it is.  Truth be told the only thing out of Lithuania that I can name, other than this beer now, is Žydrūnas Ilgauskas who plays for the great Cleveland Cavaliers and I can’t even say his name I just say ‘Z’. Although,this could explain the giant bottle because if the average Lithuanian is 7′ 3″ tall then this wouldn’t seem like that big of a bottle.  So did this beer have me howling at the moon….

I feel pretty oh so pretty and witty and bright...

Type: Beer – Pilsner
Name: Stiegl Pils
Price: $1.59
Made: Austria
Alc/Vol: ?%

“World Classic Beer – since 1492″

“Imported beer brewed since 1492 by the Stiegl brewery brewed from malt, hops, yeast mountain spring water according to the ‘Purity Law of 1516′”
Now this is a beer that I thoroughly enjoyed the privilege of setting my paws on. I mean when Columbus was off getting lost and discovering inhabited lands by accident Austrians were stumbling onto a real discovery, beer. Golden delicious pilzen beer, sure beer has been around before 1492 but do you know of too many other beers still around from that time? I didn’t think so, which tells me one of two things either the Austrians know how to stick with a good thing that or they’ve been too drunk since then to create anything new.