Rosa Nautica Chicha Morada, By Infrogmation on June 12, 2010 via Flickr - Creative Commons

Low and behold my astonishment when walking down the beverage isle of a grocery store in Lima, Peru when I found a soft drink like bottle featuring a big cartoonish picture of purple corn on it. I laughed and thought giddily to myself, “Silly humans, corn isn’t purple and even if it was who would drink…corn?!?”

Well I would, eventually, after being shown that there is purple corn, I mean really purple…I wonder if that’s what made Barney purple? Anyways, the corn is not some genetic freak of nature but actually dates back thousands of years back to the Incas. Hell, this stuff even made its way into a scene in Moby Dick, which since I am now also an amazing animal with a link to this purple corn that somebody should write a book about me. It would be less piratey with the ‘argh mateys’ and more like a cooler version of Eat, Pray, Love but something like Eat, Drink, Fling Poo? I think it’s kind of catchy, throw in some purple corn and you have a best seller.

Back to the corn, the purple corn. I decided it was my duty to try this stuff out, because while I like corn I can’t imagine drinking it, or that enough people would like it to warrant it having its own bottling company.

But before I tell you how it taste, let me tell you how it is made. First they boil the purple corn, I guess you can’t or don’t actually eat the corn which is scary because they drink it. I didn’t get too much of an explanation just a look of, ‘Uh Duh!’ You add pineapple, quince and clove to the boiling mix until it is a deep purple. (Not sure where you would pick up quince though?) Then you add spices like Cinnamon, sugar and lime juice for flavoring although I’ve heard that every recipe is different this seems to be the base of it. After all is said and done you can serve this drink hot or cold and it is regularly compared to wine although without the alcohol. I’m guessing there are a few similar nutrients but the non alcoholic part isn’t it’s strongest selling point in my opinion.

Now that you see all that goes into this purple concoction you can believe me when I say it doesn’t taste like you’re drinking cream corn. It is sweet and fruity not quite like a juice but not like anything else I can quite compare it to either. It’s purple so I want to say grape juice but it is not. The complexities offer a sweet yet spicy drink with a fruity twist that if you ask around is supposed to be a cure all. Will it cure your ailments, sure I guess if you tap your red heals together enough while drinking it down, but more importantly you can boast that there is such a thing as purple corn and you have drank it.

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Chicha Morada – Peruvian Purple Corn is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Pisco Sour By caseywest, May 20, 2010 via Flickr Creative Commons

After watching one of the greatest shows ever, Three Sheets, I became sad to see that the host Zane Lamprey never got around to show casing the Peruvian side of this liquor. Instead we only saw the Chilean side, which seems to be more regulated in its creation of Pisco. The side by side taste test will have to wait till I’m able to locate some pisco from Chile, until then these pompous pisco producers will have to deal with a full Pisco breakdown where both sides get a full review.

Some of you may not be too familiar with pisco, but may be more familiar with its Italian cousin grappa. Grappa is made from wine discards while pisco is made from fresh grapes and in Peru it includes the typical discards. Both drinks were once considered a poor man’s drink but nowadays both can be seen in high class cocktails for man and monkey alike.

I’ll try not to pick any sides because I haven’t been to Chile yet, but the Peruvians lay claim as the originators, after all it is named after the town where it was first exported. While Peruvian pisco’s production isn’t under strict regulation like Chile’s, from my experiences in Peru it was still a great drink.

In Chile it is only pisco if it is made from muskrat grapes from the third and fourth region of Chile. While in Peru pisco is made using mainly (but not exclusively) muskrat or italia grapes including skin, seeds and stems along with, at times, corn, grain and sugar cane nectar. (Thanks for the info Zane) Since this Peruvian version does not meet Chilean standards they do not recognize it as Pisco.

Yet don’t let Chile fool you into thinking that Peru doesn’t have their own complex variations of pisco. There are three styles of pisco in Peru: Quebranta, Acholado and Italia. ¹

Now that you know what the heck it is, now on to the important stuff, like how to drink it.

If you have ever had a mojito or caipirinha then you may just like this classic Peruvian/Chilean variation the Pisco Sour. This spirit/liquour mix is made by mixing pisco, sugar, limes, dry egg whites (really?) and bitters. Or if you are like me and are afraid of dumping an egg in your drink you can buy a powdered mix and just add Pisco and ice.

There are other variations and cocktail mixes for pisco, but I tend to stick with the classic.

Why is this drink so important that it must be written about, well my friends this lovely drink has it’s own holiday which lands on the first Saturday in February every year. I’m embarrassed to say that I did not make it to the town of Pisco even though I was less than 30 minutes away in Paracas but that only means I’ll have to make it back there – and this time for the celebration.

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New Brew Tuesday: Pisco is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Truth be told anyone in Lima I talked to (Which is a limited number due to my poor Spanish speaking skills) didn’t really know much about why their were cows all over, other than it had something to do with Gloria. In all actuality Gloria is just a sponsor for this specific Cow Parade, which happens all over the world. According to CowParade.com these cows are set up all around different cities for 2-4 months and then auctioned off with the proceeds going to local charities and not-for-profits. Supposedly they chose a cow because it is a beloved creature all over the world. If you ask me I just think big smelly things that make milk. I would have choose a more noble and lovable creature, such as oh I don’t know – A MONKEY! Surely there was some poor representation on the board choosing which creature to select, but I can’t blame them this whole thing started out of Connecticut. I’m not even sure what all comes from Connecticut other than Cow Parades.

You are in luck if you have ever had a weird infatuation with cows, the Lima auction has not yet begun. Have you ever wanted to cook a delicious cheeseburger on a grill that resembles the animal you are cooking? Does it actually work, who knows but it’s a cow grill what more could you ask for? I also saw a boxer cow and one that was covered in the skin from hundred of onions, so beautiful I teared up a little. I’m not sure what the average cow goes for but I know Oprah Winfrey has one, you have that kind of money right? Who doesn’t? Oprah isn’t hip enough, don’t worry Ringo Starr and Elton John have a cow too, yeah challenge that cool, I dare you.

There is a competition going on for the best picture of/with a cow and the winner gets S/. 500 ($176) of Gloria products. I’m not sure what that exactly that includes, I asked them but they wouldn’t udder a response.

Have you come across these cows in your travels? If not you may in the future they seem to be springing up all over the place, and have already been in New York and are next to spring up in Tokyo, Taipei, Tijuana and San Diego.

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Don’t Have a Cow, Peru… is a post from: Monkey Brewster

My TESOL degree is free, that’s right like no dinero, not a penny, zip-zero free; which is good because I don’t have any pockets-or wear pants…

I owe a lot on my college loans which you are thinking yeah so does everyone else, but I’m trying to knock that down a wee bit before I take off. Two years is plenty of time to hopefully pay off at least one of my loans. Plus while I’m back to school I can stop interest from accumulating on my loans; which is friggin awesome!

These are the why, which is less exciting than the where. So where should I go? Well I’ve got a few ideas planned out but nothing is set in stone and I’m curious to see what you, my lovely human readers, think. Plus, to be honest my mission is to figure out what makes you tick and tock and whatever it is that you humans do so I should probably take your opinion into consideration. I’ll fling you my opinion and you can fling some back at me.

• Lima, Peru – I have the possibility of a home to live in (rent free) and connections with various job opportunities, which is good because I will still be paying off my debt…although from a sunnier location. Plus I’ve habloed espanol once or twice so I can get by with the basics.

• Japan – My TESOL degree could help me land a job teaching English, while I’ve been strung along only to be let down before with two other programs -this time I have a plan. Since I will have more credentials, more planning time and a little more know how I will try to work for a more respectable company like JET which is less likely to promise me a job then not answer my calls when I’m asking about when to purchase a ticket until 3 months later. (if only I could fling poo that far – but back on topic) Plus, nihongo wa wakarimasu, ok not really but I’m working on taking classes and will continue to work on it, better than nothing right?

• Brazil – I have been contacting my old job where I was a student teacher in Rio de Janeiro, and my friends in Lima recently came from Sao Paulo where they have an English language school/program. Now it’s an assumption that Rio would want me back or Sao Paulo would be willing to give me an opportunity but if I use my sad puppy eyes (monkeys can do that look too), and show them cute and cuddly there is a good chance that I can convince them of anything. I also falo Portuguese, well sort of, about the extent of my Spanish but that is but enough to get me by like I would in Peru.

What do you think? Are these good or bad ideas? Am I missing something here? I also continually get information about teaching jobs in Korea but to be honest I’m no pro on anything Korean, yet Nomadic Matt seemed to speak well of it . My biggest factor will be the job aspect of each location, because without that then I will default on my loan which is one thing I don’t want to worry about – unless someone wants to help a monkey @(^_^)@

Gracias, Obrigado, and Arigato Gozaimasu

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2012 A New Beginning is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Sure it seems like a novel concept but it makes sense and works, besides that it’s kind of catchy and pretty accurate. This self identifying term also flies if you are of Chinese or any other Asian background living in Peru just in case you couldn’t figure that out on yourself.

Why does this have any significance? Well many people in the USA seem to be surprised about the large Japanese populations in South America, yet we are the ones who sent them there. Through either anti-Japanese immigration laws or a slightly bad USA experience in, oh I don’t know, Japanese Internment Camps many found their way in South America. What followed was an amazing blending of cultures. I mean the previous president of Peru was Alberto Fujimori, his name alone is pretty friggin sweet if I may say let alone he was their president. If you never had some Perusian food then you really know what I’m talking about and if by chance you don’t know what I’m talking about then check out Uncornered Market’s post on Peruvian food for some visual stimulation.

All in all I rather enjoy the food and self-identifying terms used by these Perusians, which I must admit consisted of most of my interactions in Peru. Who knows maybe I picked up something that will aid me when I go to Tokyo – or maybe not. Time will tell, but until then could you pass the taradito?

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In a tacky sense I just heard a Perusian joke that I felt must be added:

So there was a Japanese girl and a Peruvian boy who were getting frisky, as things were starting to heat up she yelled “Yamete!”, he being Peruvian heard “Ya mete”.

…and for those who don’t speak Japanese and Spanish to get the Joke. Yamete meants ‘stop it’ in Japanese while Ya mete means ‘put it in already’ in Spanish- you may now laugh.

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Perusian is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Lima Water Show from Cornelius Aesop on Vimeo.

The whistle blower is a guy trying to prevent people from walking across the grass, he did this by whistling and walking across the grass.

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Water Show in Lima is a post from: Monkey Brewster

I was really excited about traveling to Peru for a lot of reasons, one of them being Guaraná. Yeah, I know you are thinking, “Pop, of all the things you were excited about traveling to South America for, the first post you make about your trip to Peru, is over pop?” Why yes, yes it is and there is nothing you can do about it. The truth, there is a dark side to this story, not a lie but merely a misunderstanding – a sad, sad misunderstanding.

I spoke of Guaraná and how it was my favorite drink while in Brazil just looking at the picture of the can makes my mouth water. When I was told of Guaraná, of course I became excited – scheming plans of smuggling back liters of it, gorging myself in its’ delicious elixir while in Lima. In fact, when I first settled into where I was staying my friend proudly pulled out a big bottle of this weird-looking red stuff and asked if I wanted some Guaraná. I was perplexed, it says Guaraná and in fact has the same little three red cherries on the label but this was different. I smiled an awkward smile, hesitating as I said yes and that proud smile my friend bore slowly faded as she realized I wasn’t as excited as I should have been over what was taking place before me.

In my defense, this was not what I was expecting. Sure we were in a sunny warm climate nestled in South America but this wasn’t the Guaraná I came to love a year before it was, it was red! I had to try it though, I’m not that closed off. She poured me a glass, I gave it the look over and did what any self respecting monkey would do – I downed the glass. It was good, I’m not going to lie – but it just wasn’t the same Guaraná.

For good measure, I was able to find a Brazilian Guaraná Antarctica smuggled over by my friend’s cousin who recently moved to Lima from São Paulo. It was a mini bottle but I enjoyed it in all its mini glory – for I too am mini. My overall evaluation is that Guaraná Antarctica easily reigns over the Peruvian Guaraná, but I also realize that if you want to talk Peruvian soft drinks you need to be talking about Inca Kola, but that is a whole other conversation. My challenge to you is travel to Brazil and Peru trying both versions for yourself, if that seems too much then your stuck with my evaluation – that or finding an import store near you.

Have you tried either (or both) of these drinks? What is your take on “The Battle of the Guaranás” , share your feedback on how they rate. Till then I’m on the look out for a good banana drink…or maybe a banana beer. Now that is a creation worthy of a monkey’s palate.

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The Battle of the Guaranás is a post from: Monkey Brewster