How to buy a Keg:
This is different in every state and sometimes even by county so make sure to ask s/he who knows all things….Google. According to Wikipedia there are 21 states with Keg Registration laws.  In my home state of Ohio you can only buy kegs from a distributer and not just your local corner liquor shop, and if you purchase five or more kegs you have to wait 5 days before you can pick them up. Also those who purchase these 5+ kegs are now subject to police searching the party location without the need of a warrant. How’s a monkey supposed to get funky? If this is true for you as well make sure to pay attention what time the distributers close because most shut down at 5pm on Friday which could leave you kegless if you wait.

What Size:
The standard sizes for barrels in the US are the ½ barrel keg, ¼ barrel keg (pony keg) and the 1/6  barrel keg which are the same size and volume of a Cornelius Keg (I poo you not, there really is a keg with my name but unfortunately it is mainly  used only for soda yet occasionally beer for home brewers).

Equipment:
Now that you have your keg, make sure you have all the necessary equipment for a keg party.

• Keg Tap – if you don’t have your own many places will rent one out to you for the cost of the tap which you will get back once you return your keg and tap for your deposit. Make sure that you have the correct type because there is a difference between the type of tap used on domestic and import beers.
• Cups – a keg holds on average 150 cups of beer, beware if you don’t have cups your bowls and pots will be sacrificed in the name of Bluto.
• Ice – unless you have a kegarator (fridge built for dispensing kegs since your average fridge won’t hold a keg) you need a lot of ice
• Trash Can – not for trash my furless friend this is to house your keg and ice
• Blanket – This is to tuck away your keg before the party to keep it chilly

Extras can be a Cold Plate, pitchers, CO2 tank and regulator

Houston We Have a Problem?…..Don’t Worry Keep Cool:
Most keg problems have to do with temperature, which results in foamy beer and while it’s acceptable to pour one out for the homies, wasting beer as foam is unacceptable if not criminal. Your keg must be between 36-38°F the warmer it gets the better the conditions become for bacteria growth causing your beer to ‘spoil.’ This means that you need to give your beer time to settle and cool down after you bring it home, think of it like bringing new fish home you’re not supposed to just dump the fishies into the water…no you let the bag sit atop the water so it adjusts. The recommended resting time is 2-4 hours before you serve up your beer.

If you are a pro and have CO2 tank the problem may lay in the pressure. Your beers pressure should be between 12-14 PSI for Ale and Lager beers but if you are purchasing from a distributer it is always best to ask the pros how they recommend their beer to be dispensed.

If you are using an air pump the recommended ‘freshness’ timeline is about 12 hours. Otherwise too much air will begin to alter the beer.
Sometimes the problem is the user and not your keg or equipment. To properly pour a glass of beer tilt the glass at a 45° angle get close to the faucet but do not push the cup against the faucet. Once the cup is half full bring your glass to an upright position to finish your pour. Finish by pouring the beer down the middle of the glass to give it that perfect pour finish. Also make sure that they have pumped the keg only to maintain a steady flow, you will usually have one party goer who feels the need to pump the keg 30 times before they pour their glass.

Depending on the results your troubleshooting may vary for wild beer, flat beer, cloudy beer or false head.

Why Buy A Keg:
Besides the obvious fact that saying, ‘hey come over tomorrow we are having a kegger’ sounds so much cooler than, ‘hey we bought two cases of Pabst Blue you wanna be my friend now?’ it is more economical. As stated above a keg of beer holds around 150 beers and using my recent adventure a ½ barrel keg of Bud Light cost $101 for a total of about $.67 per cup while a case at the your local store for say $18 gives you each can for about $.75 saving you some money while at the same time making you a lot cooler. The figures will vary depending on who’s pouring and the cost of the keg but either way it is still a cost savor, especially if you have a lush…err um slush fund that party goers can contribute for future kegs.

Now that you are on your way becoming a certified beerologist make sure to suggest future topics for New Brew Tuesday: Beerology 101 courses.

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New Brew Tuesday: Everything You Need To Know About Kegs is a post from: Monkey Brewster

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• A Drinking Guide to Rio de Janeiro
• New Brew Tuesday: Flying Dog – Old Scratch Amber Ale
• New Brew Tuesday: Hoegaarden

“Some itches can’t be scratched. Like your fantasy involving latex and flavored lotions. So it’s best to concetrate on the ones you can scratch. Like your itch for this amber lager with a malty, mellow flavor. As for your other fantasies, you’ll probably need to find a chat room for those.”

Well if that isn’t a proper way of saying you’re a damn good beer than I don’t know what is and I surely don’t want to find out. Aside from the cockroach-doggie thing on the label, this beer was quite attractive. Not in a swing up next to a pretty lady and ask her if she’d like my banana attractive [I'm a monkey, not that kind of banana you sick sick....well OK I did that one on purpose   ]

No, this beer was attractive in the sense that before I finished my first sip, I already wish I had a second one.

I’m partial to amber lagers so I’m trying to give this a thorough analysis but that part got a little fuzzy half way through the bottle. This lager has a creamy texture to it when you drink it, kind of like what ice cream does to root beer in a root beer float, minus the ice cream and root but of course. The taste was an obvious malty flavor accurately described on the side of the label but also a subtle sweetness, which may tie back to that creamy root beer float comparison.

Good people drink good beer – Hunter S. Thompson

The finish gave a dry hoppy flavoring that made me want to take another sip to moist my pallet only to repeat my predicament. Overall I have to say that the beer was definetely enjoyable and their site was more informative than most, including a full ‘Brew Breakdown’, a light vs dark and malty vs hoppy low down, a beer information chart, place for tasting notes and a link to their website listing food pairings from Beer Dinners.com (Which is kind of exciting because alcohol-food pairings is something I want to work on next)

In the end, this scratch satisfied my itch, or was it the itch that caused the scratch? Either way I give this amber lager a strong 4 out of 5 bananas for the taste as well as the pride they seem to take in their beer and effort they put in to make your experience a great one giving you food suggestions and all (Where’s the beer that pairs well with a banana, eh?). Although I would add to their Hunter S. Thompson quote, that while good people drink good beer, a great monkeys chugs great beers.

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New Brew Tuesday: Flying Dog – Old Scratch Amber Ale is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban
• New Brew Tuesday: The Battle of the Modelos
• New Brew Tuesday: Great Divide’s Hades Ale

Type:  Beer – Belgian White
Name: Hoegaarden
Price: $1.79
Made: Hoegaarden, Belgium
Alc/Vol: 4.9%

First let’s see what Hoegaarden has to say about itself…

“The original wheat beer is the oldest and most famous of Hoegaarden’s range. When poured, it forms a soft, white creamy head and leaves a generous lacing on the glass. Its naturally cloudy, pale hue shimmers when viewed through the glass.

With an aroma of orange peel, coriander and spice, its characteristic taste is entirely unique: smooth, light-bodied, and simultaneously sweet and sour, with a subtle, spiced citrus flavour. Best served in its traditional hexagonal glass.”

This beer’s origins date back to 1445, like Pilsner Urquel and Stiegl Pils this beer has some history on it. It has its own myths and legends, a unique glass  and special way of pouring it which can be found on the back of the label, that my friend makes it one special beer.

Although, for all all its history and fancy talk I wasn’t overly impressed. Hoegaarden is a good clean light tasting beer with mild subtleties that give it character but not enough that make me love the taste. It was only slightly sweet,  not hoppy or bitter, and in a way I can’t explain it tasted just like it smells. It has everything it boasts, with an emphasis on the light not as a light beer is light but that it wasn’t much of anything. Hoegaarden has a thick creamy texture to it but nothing is left there to really give you a lasting impression. It’s from 1445 so I want to really like this beer so I’ll chalk it up to a few errors on my part, I didn’t poor correctly, I didn’t have the fancy glass, I didn’t serve it with an orange and it is an imported bottle  which means its freshness wasn’t probably up to par. Yet, I still was hoping this beer to blast me away with its awesomeness, instead I can only say I liked it and probably wouldn’t be willing to pay the import price over some other domestic beer that I like.

Overall I give this beer a 3 out of 5 bananas, it probably would of fared better if I hadn’t held it up to such high expectations.

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New Brew Tuesday: Hoegaarden is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: Everything You Need To Know About Kegs
• New Brew Tuesday: Flying Dog – Old Scratch Amber Ale
• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban

In 1990, Ichiban’s debut made a splash in the world of super premium beers. The luxurious single wort (or first press) process yields a unique, complex flavor. With his gold label and “Special Premium Reserve” appellation, Ichiban outclasses and outperforms. But don’t be fooled by a snooty attitude — this is a great beer that goes with anything.

What makes Ichiban great

Prominent wort. Finest barley malt, premium hops, smooth finish, no bitter aftertaste.”

I happened to have flung together a nice dinner of sashimi (tuna and salmon) along with a few rice balls for a nice Japanese style dinner, and had this beer in my fridge. My first assumption was that it would be a perfect pairing. It didn’t necessarily fall short of my expectations but it didn’t exceed them either. It is a good beer but it seems like Anheuser-Busch was holding this mystical kirin back from greatness, like a pit bull on a leash it just wasn’t what it was all cracked up to be.

The beer has a nice malty taste with a spicy finish, the malty flavor threw me off because I was expecting a rice beer flavor more like Saparro. Yet here with Kirin Ichiban there was a malt flavor, so I can’t tell what is different since this one hails less from the east where the sun rises and more towards the west coast of California. The spicy finish had a sweet lemon like twist to it that came off nice and full of flavor. So with all this malty spicy goodness why am I complaining, well it tasted as if it was slightly watered down or diluted which is definitely not how I like describing my beers. Especially after you just read the ego stroking description with words like ‘special’, ‘premium’ and ‘luxurious’.

I give this mystical beer a 2.5 out of 5 banana rating. I had higher expectations, especially since I drank this with a Japanese dish. What’s your take on this beer – does it tickle your taste buds or fall short of expectations. Who knows maybe Japanese lagers just aren’t my favorite, but I’ll do some closer examining when I visit Japan this December.

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New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils
• New Brew Tuesday: O.K. Beer Okocim

Type: Beer – Pilsner
Name:  Pilsner Urquell
Price: $1.59
Made: Czech Republic
Alc/Vol: 4.4%

After drinking Staropramen I was a little hesitant about drinking another beer from the Czech Republic, but then again this is ‘The’ pilsner beer, litterally. Any beer that claims pils, pilsner or pilsener however you want to fling it stem from this beer. Being the very first, and still going strong today as a popular style of beer with various versions of you know that they had to do something right.

This beer has that same almost skunky smell, it is strong and where other beers only have the smell this beer also has the strong flavor. Although the strong flavor blends away the more I drink it, and gives away to a nice dry finish.This beer is light and smooth to drink one that could be enjoyed all night, even though the bite of the first sip and scent could be enough to deter even a serious drinker. Though I am a proud drunken monkey who must battle through these difficult beers to ensure you get to try the best out there, and this surely is one of them.

On top of the delicious beer, they also happen to have a Pilsner Urquell Game (NSFW – that is if you can win – because I surely couldn’t get that far) You have to be doing something right if they make a game for you. If you start typing out Pilsner Urquell in Google, this is the first suggestion so it isn’t some tucked away game made by some random fan, no people are serious about this one.

I give this beer 4 1/2 out of 5 bananas, its awesomeness and precedence deserves at least that much. However, I warn you that it is a pils through and through which may turn you away at first but before the bottle is gone I’m sure you’ll become a fan too.

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New Brew Tuesday: Pilsner Urquell is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: O.K. Beer Okocim
• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils
• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban

The Legend of ‘Hop’ Wallop

“So Horace ‘Hop’ Wallop headed west a broken man. For in the city of Blues a Miss LuLu Bell Lager had left him thirty for more. Drawn by wild tales of riches to be had in the gold mines, Hop pressed on westward. His last nickle spent on a prospecting pan Hop’s hunger got the best of him. Two fist fulls of barely and three of some wild and Wayward hops tossed in a pan with some clear water was to be his meal but sleep overcame him and he later awoke to a bubbling cacophonous concoction overjoyed with the beautiful ale he had made, Hop realized the secret of the green gold he had discovered in those fresh hops. Celebrated far and wide Hop Wallop lives on this vivid ale with his words, ‘Hoppyness is Happiness’. Enjoy!”

That is one mouthful of a story to place on a beer bottle! I’m not sure how true the story is but one look at that lovable face of ‘Hop’ and you just can’t help but want to believe it. I believe this may be my first double IPA, now I’m not to sure what the difference between an IPA and a double IPA but I assume it means double to hoppy bitter taste.

This beer didn’t let me down, it has a good strong IPA taste. Was it double what your average IPA is? Well I don’t know, but it sure was hoppy. No not hoppy as in my friend @BouncyMcTigger likes to bounce, hop and skip (it’s really just bouncing, she would best leave the hopping to rabbits). The aftertaste lingers with that rich bitter taste and there isn’t a strong taste of alcohol even though it has 8.5%.

I could picture myself drinking this beer on a regular occurrence, which is why I give this beer 4 out of 5 bananas. Are you an IPA drinker, because if so I’d recommend you picking up a bottle with that lovable guy ‘Hop’ Wallop on it.

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New Brew Tuesday: Victory – Hop Wallop is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils
• New Brew Tuesday: Acme – California IPA

Type: Beer
Name: Mythos Hellenic Lager Beer
Price: $1.99
Made: Sindos, Greece
Alc/Vol: 5%

To this beer I say drink up, it is my way of supporting Greece in their time of financial crisis, for there is no better gulp of beer than one that helps another. This lovely beer was enjoyed on a hot day as I try to pawn off my belonging in a garage sale in preparation for my move. (Read why here) I used a screw driver to pop the cap off and gulped down my first sip as I sat in front of my former riches, giving me a King Kong complex of sorts. So what did I think of this self proclaimed, ‘ first authentic Greek beer’?

Even in my garage this beer had a sour, Heineken like smell that hit my nose right from the start. The taste however had a mild sweetness to it but that gave way to a bitter finish, all of which was very light. It was a smooth refreshing beer on a hot day which makes me like it but even under these circumstances I’m not a huge fan. Although, I’m not a big fan of Heineken either which this beer reminds me of, and after some research I’m not surprise to learn it’s a subsidary of Carlsberg. Which if you read my post on their Elephant Imported this one seems to be it’s long lost brother in beer.

Overall I give this beer 2.5 bananas out of 5. I had high hopes for this beer but alas, it seemed to be an Athenian tragedy in itself, that or I missed the plot somewhere to this beer.

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New Brew Tuesday: Mythos Hellenic Lager Beer is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
• New Brew Tuesday: The Battle of the Modelos
• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils

New Brew Tuesday: Anchor Steam Beer

Type: Beer
Name: Anchor Brewing’s Steam Beer
Price: $1.89
Made: San Francisco, California
Alc/Vol: 4.9%

This beer was forgettable, I kind of wish I wrote down all the fine points as I was drinking it but truth be told even with my notes there wasn’t much there. I didn’t think that this was nesecarily a bad beer, but it had such a light taste with a dry finish that it left little to talk about. It was one of those beers that if someone had asked me what I thought of it after I drank it I would of given a, “Meh” response and that would have been pretty acurate.

It is an easy drinking beer that you could enjoy any time anywhere really. It has a bit of a sweet scent but doesn’t taste sweet, you know there’s hops but it isn’t bitter. I would recommend this beer for someone who is intimidated about drinking a darker toned beer after drinking pilsners.

I give this beer 2 out of 5 bananas, I wish I could speak more on this beer but it hasn’t left me much to fling about. What’s your take on this San Francisco beer, love it-hate it, let me know.

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New Brew Tuesday: Anchor Steam Beer is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban
• New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
• New Brew Tuesday: The Battle of the Modelos

Type: Beer – Belgian Dark Ale
Name: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
Price: $1.99
Made: Birzai Region Lithuania
Alc/Vol: 8.2%

This big bottle o’ beer knew how to get a drunken monkey’s attention – a big red tag that says, ‘Hey look at me I’m full of alcohol, good and strong not like that sissy crap that might as well be a Zima.’  OK so it actually just says 8.2% alc/vol however on the bottle it does say, “You must be sure you want to taste it.” Which I like because if the she-wolf wasn’t sassy enough that statement makes sure it is.  Truth be told the only thing out of Lithuania that I can name, other than this beer now, is Žydrūnas Ilgauskas who plays for the great Cleveland Cavaliers and I can’t even say his name I just say ‘Z’. Although,this could explain the giant bottle because if the average Lithuanian is 7′ 3″ tall then this wouldn’t seem like that big of a bottle.  So did this beer have me howling at the moon….

Not exactly. I liked the beer and expected a strong bitter taste due to the high alcohol content, but instead it surprised me with a soft sweet taste. The aroma was mild and sweet, which should have tipped me off that this was no malt liquor alcohol stooped broozer of a beer but instead a delicate flavor-full drink. There was only a hint of bitterness to it, with a spicy-hoppy flavor that rested in your throat. The flavor was hard to describe because nothing stuck out in the flavor, which gave me a 180 from what I was expecting.

It has been awhile since I’ve had one, but for some reason I kept thinking of a Sam Adams Winter Lager as something to compare it to. That sweet spiced flavor that was good but more of a specialty beer, not something that I would drink all night. To be honest by the end of the bottle I was done with this beer and ready to move on to a different drink.

I gave this beer a 3 out of 5 bananas, and even then I don’t know where to put it. It’s good but in small doses, full of flavor and spice but not distinctive and it has a high alc/vol but not a strong alcohol taste. I think I was more confused by this beer than anything else which is why it ends up somewhere in the middle. Have you ever tried this beer before, what’s your take on it – love it/hate it let me know and fling me your opinion.

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New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils
• New Brew Tuesday: O.K. Beer Okocim
• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban

OK,  whew breath monkey breath…

Back to the point, and yes I’m sure you are thinking Cinco de Mayo why not choose Corona. Well my furless friend, it is for the same reason I didn’t pick Guinness for my St. Patty’s Day NBT. Although, I didn’t venture far off because the makers of Corona, Grupo Modelo, also happen to make these two popular Mexican beers. I purchased a 6 pack of each costing $8.47 each so that I had fully completed some extensive research on this comparison, I take my research serious like any great scholar. Hmm Dr. Aesop research beerologist, I like the sound of that.

A notable aspect of these beers is the gold foil wrapping on the bottle neck which if not cleared off completely will end up mixed in your drink. This reminded me of a favorite Brazilian beer of mine, Itaipava, which always had a loose fitted foil wrap over the mouth of the can but those came off easily while the Modelo foil was stuck on there good.

What is your take on these two beers, did I insult your Cinco de Mayo favorite or did both of these beers leave the same dare to be average taste that I experienced. Leave a comment and let me know.

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New Brew Tuesday: The Battle of the Modelos is a post from: Monkey Brewster

Check out one of these related posts

• New Brew Tuesday – Kirin Ichiban
• New Brew Tuesday: Rinkuškiai Werewolf
• New Brew Tuesday: Stiegl Pils