Everyone who drinks beer needs to, at some point and time in their life, be a part of a kegger. Whether it is you who are providing the keg or just that you wanted to go to a really cool toga party and low and behold Zeus has provided a Hercules sized beer dispenser. Either way you don’t want to look like the ‘noob’ who is lost at what to do when you are handed your plastic red chalice for the night. No, you want to be the expert, a god among men who can make women swoon at the vastness of his beerpertise. Alas, not all men were created equal and some of us must study and practice hard every night to become beerologists. Pouring the perfect martini doesn’t happen by chance and neither will your knowledge of kegs. So continue on and read ahead for you my friend are on your way to greatness.
Low and behold my astonishment when walking down the beverage isle of a grocery store in Lima, Peru when I found a soft drink like bottle featuring a big cartoonish picture of purple corn on it. I laughed and thought giddily to myself, “Silly humans, corn isn’t purple and even if it was who would drink…corn?!?”
Well I would, eventually, after being shown that there is purple corn, I mean really purple…I wonder if that’s what made Barney purple? Anyways, the corn is not some genetic freak of nature but actually dates back thousands of years back to the Incas. Hell, this stuff even made its way into a scene in Moby Dick, which since I am now also an amazing animal with a link to this purple corn that somebody should write a book about me. It would be less piratey with the ‘argh mateys’ and more like a cooler version of Eat, Pray, Love but something like Eat, Drink, Fling Poo? I think it’s kind of catchy, throw in some purple corn and you have a best seller.
“Some itches can’t be scratched. Like your fantasy involving latex and flavored lotions. So it’s best to concetrate on the ones you can scratch. Like your itch for this amber lager with a malty, mellow flavor. As for your other fantasies, you’ll probably need to find a chat room for those.”
Well if that isn’t a proper way of saying you’re a damn good beer than I don’t know what is and I surely don’t want to find out. Aside from the cockroach-doggie thing on the label, this beer was quite attractive. Not in a swing up next to a pretty lady and ask her if she’d like my banana attractive [I’m a monkey, not that kind of banana you sick sick….well OK I did that one on purpose 😉 ]
No, this beer was attractive in the sense that before I finished my first sip, I already wish I had a second one.
Before I start flinging my opinion let us see what Wells and Youngs have to say about their own beer…
“This unique brew combines all the traditional qualities and style of a Charles Wells beer with the subtle flavour of banana
Wells Banana Bread Beer is a popular beer in the Wells and Young’s range of ales. The beer has achieved a number of accolades including winner of “Beer of the Festival” award at CAMRA’s London Drinker Festival in March 2002.
Available as a draught seasonal cask beer, Wells Banana Bread Beer can be found on the bar and, in its popular bottle format, in all leading supermarkets.”
It’s raining again, damn! It hasn’t stopped raining for days. Normally this wouldn’t bother me because I like the rain, especially on a warm day where even the most mature individual is tempted to jump into a puddle. Today, today is my last day in Rio de Janeiro and I’d like to say my upset stomach was over my uneasiness of leaving a place I’ve called home for four months or that it’s because I am returning home only to be handed a piece of paper that says I’m capable of teaching. Teaching, ha! You would have thought that 23 years of life, four of which backed by a college education, would have taught me not to do six shots right before I leave the bar, after I already reached that ‘feel good’ point. Lesson learned, at least for now, but their are more pressing matters, like the rain.